Roe Family History

Ilsa Irene Depew Roe

Ilsa Irene Depue was born October 10, 1912 of Claude Depue (he later changed his name to Claud Depew) and Lillian Cole Depue in the town of Newton, NJ. She was the firstborn followed by brothers Claude Milton in 1914 and Howard Cole in 1916. Both brothers served in World War II. Her father managed and later owned a supermarket in town and her mother was a school teacher before marrying. Claude was a prominent businessman and both parents were Protestant.

In 1912 Europe was building towards World War I; Woodrow Wilson was elected president, the Titanic sunk, New Mexico and Arizona were admitted as states, women did not have the right to vote, and everyone was buying Model T's. Radio was in its experimental stage and movies were gaining popularity with the publication of the first fan magazine.

Ilsa's first years were typical of families at that time, and living in a large town meant there was a lot to do and other children to play with. Then in 1918, when she was 5, her mother died suddenly of a heart attack leaving her father with three small children to raise and a business to run. Imagine what it must have been like for the children to suddenly be without their mother. For a time the family lived in Dover with a housekeeper looking after them.

It was during this period that she was baptized as Ilsa Irene Depew at the First Memorial Presbyterian Church in Dover on June 11, 1922 when she was 9 years old. Notice that her father had changed the spelling of his name by this date. Ilsa spent time with her Aunt Lilly Swartout, who had helped her mother, but doesn't seem to have had a close relationship with her grandparents.

In 1925, when Ilsa was 12, her father married Elizabeth Harrigan and the family moved back to Newton and into the house at 17 Linwood Avenue, where they would remain. Ilsa enjoyed her step mother's Irish relatives Peg, Josephine and Mary. When they came to visit the house would be filled with music and laughter.

Ilsa's high school years were spent in Newton with the school in walking distance of her house on Linwood Avenue. She was very active and involved in sports, music and scholastic groups. She played guard for two years on the Girls' Basketball team. Her senior year she was Captain of both the Debating Team and Girls' Leader Corps and on the yearbook staff. She took part in several theatrical productions, was a class officer her sophomore year, was on the Glee Club and played the piano. She took advantage of every opportunity available and must have thoroughly enjoyed her high school years.

After high school Ilsa went on to college at St. Elizabeth College in Convent Station, NJ where she graduated in 1934, receiving a B.A. in Political Science. St. Elizabeth was a Catholic college taught by nuns from which her step mother also graduated. It would have been easy for her to come home weekends as train stations were an easy walk at both ends.

She was as active at college as in high school. Each year she served in the student organization and as vice-president her senior year. In addition she was in the Athletic Association, Classical Association, Political Science Club, International club, French Club, Music Lovers' Club and played women's basketball.

The description in her college yearbook is telling: "Order, simple and uncomplicated ways of living, all appeal to Ilsa and she is patient and thorough in doing the things that she enjoys. She has a positive sense of justice, and while she is kind-hearted, instinctively she resents unfairness even more than she does unkindness. She needs to feel at ease in her work or with people before she is or does her best, and she doesn't like to be hurried into an expression of her opinions."

During summer vacations and perhaps after school she worked at her father's grocery store.

It was unusual for a woman to go to college at this time and she was the first in her family to graduate. Women could be nurses, teachers or secretaries, as there weren't many other choices for a profession. It was the height of the depression when she graduated so there also weren't many jobs available. To learn marketable skills she went back to school at Drake's Business College in East Orange. Ilsa then found work at Newton Memorial Hospital as a stenographer and bookkeeper where she worked until she was married.

She met Ross Roe at a ski weekend in the Poconos and they were married in Newton at her home on November 25, 1938. She was 26. He was 25 and worked at Selected Risks Insurance Company in Branchville. From the announcement in the New Jersey Herald: "The home of Mr. and Mrs. Claude Depew, of Linwood Avenue, was the scene of a quiet home wedding last Friday evening at six o'clock. The bride was attired in a light blue moire gown and carried a bouquet of gardenias. After a wedding trip in the south, the young married couple will reside in their newly constructed home at Branchville." It was a small wedding and there is only one photo of her in a modest wedding dress. We don't know why she didn't have a large wedding as both fathers were prominent in their communities. Ross's parents were divorced and his mother attended but his father did not. Perhaps this had something to do with it.

They built a home at 26 Mattison Avenue in Branchville on a hill overlooking the town, where they spent most of their married life. Ilsa's first child Jon, was born in 1939 when she was 26 and Linda was born in 1941, when she was 29. After marriage she didn't work again as was typical of the time. Her role was to keep the home, raise the children and support her husband. This must have been a challenge for an educated independent woman. She joined the Presbyterian Church in Branchville, where Ross grew up. Branchville was a small town of less than 1,000 and the church was the center of much of the social activity. Ross worked for Selected Risks in town, where he was successful working his way up to vice president and a member of the board.

Over the years Ilsa was active in church affairs, including the women's Daisy Roe Chain, and at one time supervised the Sunday school. She was also active in the elementary school Parent Teachers Association and on occasion substituted for teachers at the school. The 1940's and 1950's were a nice time to live in a small country town. In the summer a number of lakes were nearby for taking the children swimming. Ilsa was close to her parents and most holidays were spent with the Depew family in Newton. Shopping was done locally at small stores and trips would be taken twice a year to New York City, Newark or Morristown to the big department stores. At this time only two week vacations were common. Some years they were spent at the Jersey shore, but the early to mid-fifties included trips to Miami Beach and Bermuda with the family.

Ilsa was very supportive of her children enrolling them in music classes, becoming involved with brownies and scouts, chauffeuring to baseball games, concerts and anything else they were involved in. Ross ran a real estate company as a second business so was less involved with the children.

Her father died in 1958 at age 75, when she was 45. After this she would look after her step mother.

By 1965 when Ilsa was 53 the children were through school, married and beginning their own families in Connecticut and Massachusetts. Visits went both ways and she and Ross would often take the children while Jon and Linda vacationed. This was also a time for more extensive travel with trips to Spain, Hawaii, England and Switzerland as well as often visiting Florida's east coast. Some of these trips included visiting Disney World in Orlando with the grandchildren.

Her step mother Elizabeth died in 1968 at age 92. Ilsa looked after her after her father died and she was always an important part of the family.

Ilsa's health was always very good, except for one very serious bout with pneumonia in the early 1970's. Ross retired from Selected Risks in 1976, when she was 64. Now winters would be spent at a rented apartment in Lake Worth, Florida near the inter coastal waterway. Family and grandchildren visited and the next ten years were very pleasant with summers spent in New Jersey and winters in Florida.

Around 1990, at age 78, Ilsa began showing signs of dementia. It started slowly but over time she became more difficult for Ross to deal with. She refused medical attention and became more and more fearful, paranoid and out of touch with reality. A number of interventions were attempted. In March of 1997, at age 84, they sold their home in Branchville and moved to Cape Cod to be near Linda. After a period they moved into the Atria Woodbriar Assisted Living facility in Falmouth. Ilsa was put on an anti-depressant which stabilized her behavior. She and Ross lived independently at Woodbriar until he died on September 18, 2004. She was 91 at the time and moved into a section of Atria where she could be fully supported. Both her mental and physical health deteriorated, but very slowly. Linda saw that she was well cared for and included her in family activities and holidays. For the next six years she was fortunate to be generally healthy with no major incidents and she still knew family members and was content with her life.

In May of 2011 she moved to the Royal Nursing Home in Falmouth as she needed more care than Atria could provide. Her health gradually declined and she passed quietly on Monday, September 12 at about 6 a.m. After a family service she was buried with Ross at St. Joseph's Cemetery in Falmouth.

In her lifetime she saw many changes. She lived through two world wars, the great depression, periods of great prosperity and social unrest, and the landing of men on the moon. Except for the loss of her mother at age 5 her life was very stable and pleasant without major trauma or disruptions. She grew up in one town and lived in another for most of her life. The family was financially secure allowing her to have a nice home and to travel. All in all as good a life as you could hope for.